Never laugh at your wife’s choices,
you are one of them.
When life gets too hard to stand,
kneel.
***
Ask Grandpa Anything!
I know a lot
and when I don’t know,
I can provide a really good made up answer.
***
I’d grow my own food
if I could only find bacon seeds.
The best thing about the good old days was
I wasn’t good
and I wasn’t old.
***
You are about to exceed the limits
of my medication.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
Judging is my cardio.
***
People said follow your dreams,
so I went back to bed.
We’ll be friends until we are old and senile,
then we’ll be new friends.
***
My Indian name is
Runs With Beer.
Karma takes too long,
I’d rather just smack you right now.
***
Did a cartwheel the other day.
Thinking it was like riding a bike.
It’s not.
I can explain it to you,
but I can’t understand it for you.
