Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. – Carl Bard
I am getting old.
Aging strikes me somehow like
being one’s own science fair project.
And trying to make sense of Medicare suggests
may be time for prescription pain killers.
I already take enough medication.
Just last week I asked my physician
if I could get off blood-thinner.
After all, been nearly two years since my last clot.
She looked at me with horrified wonderment.
“I can’t do that. You could die,” she blurted.
“I’d have to insist you consult with a specialist.”
The next day, area’s most beloved citizen dropped dead,
the victim of a stroke. Eight years my junior.
The specialist can wait.
***
Anyway, I live in a gated golfing community in Florida.
Just another ghetto really.
Sometimes I get this urge to see a face –
or even just a head of hair – which isn’t white.
Or Birther Republican.
To make a long and increasingly frightening story short,
found myself the other night in the wrong place
at the wrong time with the wrong people.
Naivete, especially among otherwise sensible seniors,
is an underestimated killer.
Cut to the chase,
through a combination of wily cunning and dumbass luck,
managed to extricate myself unharmed.
***
“Be steady and well-ordered in your life
so that you can be fierce and original in your work.”
– Gustave Flaubert
***
The next dawn I awoke suitably chastened.
The light at the end of the tunnel
is apparently the same light
we hear about from near-death experiences.
I can’t see the light,
but I can feel it.
And yet….and yet…
I have much to live for. Much to accomplish.
And I worry I am wasting time.
Precious time.
I did not know Thuy Doan personally,
but I mourn her passing
because of the light which shown through her.
I was struck by her courage and candor.
“There are so many things I want to do with my life,” she once blogged.
“It’s not death itself that breaks my heart
but loss of potential to do great things.”
I am already forty years older than she will ever be.
And I find myself concerned about
losing the opportunity to do great things.
Today is that opportunity.
Each and every day offers the opportunity
for us to do great things.
Time to press the re-start button.
Tomorrow, I will be attending my grandtriplets’ birthday celebration.
At the very least, there are many smiles
and much laughter yet to enjoy.
And cake.
Always get some cake.
***
Postscript: Took my own advice. This piece was written a few years back. Doctor took me off the blood thinners..”We’ll just say, “Due to lifestyle changes…” And then she left town. – JDW