The Puppy’s On A Diet

The Puppy’s on a diet.

See, she gave me a play bow

because her food bowl was empty.

and I noticed her ass

is bigger than mine.

***

Lost Bruce Caitlyn Jenner, a prized finch, last week.

You probably heard about B.O.B.

pretty sure greatest goldfish ever

not long before

and now we are losing fish on a daily basis.

Am too sensitive for this, I actually fucking care.

They have names, for God’s sake.

***

Can’t be having no obese Sheepdog.

Declared cute but chubby last year

she gotten weigh heavier.

Our dogs have always been free-range

and Puppy turns out she’s a stress eater

or has no self-control

or just likes the savory flavor

of kibble.

Admit it, the occasional snack.

***

Solved one other problem

Bought my wife a meerkat

statue.

Already got some Swahili name.

Can’t help thinking,

just don’t drop it.

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