“He knew… that if he waited, somehow he would see, that there was lost light in all places of darkness, and if he found it, it would save him.” – Michael Connelly, The Black Box
***
My wife left me alone for eight days. I missed her terribly. Even though she called every morning and again every evening. Missed her terribly. She gets home and I tell her,
“I kinda liked being by myself.” What the hell was I thinking? “But I’m over that now.”
After she gives me the hairy eyeball:
“Well, I don’t want you to feel badly, but I really missed my puppy.”
I don’t feel badly. That is one great little dog.
***
I was sick most of the time she was gone. It was all I could do to sit in my sweet leather power recliner and watch hour after hour of sports on my bigass – not a brand name – HiDef TV. Life can be so hard sometimes.
Had to cook for myself, no one to serve me. Actually wondered how I managed to survive all those years I was single.
***
I had big plans, big plans of all I would accomplish in her absence. Clean up my office, get organized, a bunch of other stuff I have already forgotten. It’s written down somewhere…
I did clear my reading table. Found these notes…
***
Still trying to shake off the disappointment of not winning the half billion dollar PowerBall a couple weeks back.
Defeat? You can let it destroy you, define you or strengthen you. What do you choose?
If you do not get out of my way, I am going to hit you so hard, every car alarm in this town will go off.
Here’s what I’ve learned. The earlier you start to do better, the better you will be.
And it’s never too late to start.
I play for the risk, not for the money…. This attitude creates mystery on the mind of the opposition. Nobody wants to put a mystery out of action. They want to see how it comes out. – Nick “The Greek” Dandolos
Be fastidious about your verbiage. Don’t stagnate your own process. Don’t assassinate your own character.
Work at being great. Be a role model for yourself. Heroism requires action.
If you could relive one year of your life, what year would it be? And why?
I am thinking my answer is…next year.
Sun Tzu wrote, All warfare is based on deception.
If you are at war with yourself, the biggest enemy is self-deception.
I wrote that.
Monologue: How to survive in the era of post-masculinity.
To get the sniff, but not the taste, it’s a kind of hell.
Think of your body as a wet towel… wring it out.