Where Do Refugees From Florida Go?

If you are looking at the midterm results and concluding that the rest of America is clamoring to be more like Florida,

I think you are huffing paint. – Tim Miller

“Florida is where ‘woke’ goes to die,” the state’s autocratic leader crowed.

Did you ever hear anything so damn horrifying and at the same time so fucking true?

Florida has “rewritten the political map,” Gov. Ronald Rhymes with Donald DeSantis (R) said during his victory speech Tuesday evening, telling supporters he has “only begun to fight.”

DeSantis celebrated his overwhelming victory in the Sunshine State after defeating Rep. Charlie Crist (D-FL) handily. With 91 percent of the votes in, DeSantis led Crist by over one million votes.

“You know, over these past four years, we’ve seen major challenges for the people of our state,” he said, explaining that Florida “held the line” over the past few years, standing as a “citadel” of freedom.

Challenges out the ass.

The Most Regressive Taxes In The Nation. The Most Conservative Judicial System. One-Party Rule. Barely habitable climate, getting worse every year.

“We chose facts over fear. We chose education over indoctrination. We chose law and order,” he said, adding that the state “was a refuge of sanity when the world went mad.”

We did not choose choice.

“We faced attacks, we took the hits, we weathered the storm, but we stood our ground. We did not back down. We had the conviction to guide us, and we had the courage to lead. We made promises. We made promises to the people of Florida, and we have delivered on those promises,” he said, celebrating that Floridians have “delivered their verdict: Freedom is here to stay.”

Rick Scott, because Mitch McConnell isn’t mean enough, seen here watching a puppy die horribly.

Ronald is a lot like Intergalactic space villain and Medicare thief Florida junior Senator Rick Scott, many people are saying, but without the charm.

“Now, thanks to the overwhelming support of the people of Florida … we have rewritten the political map,” he said, adding that it is easier to run a “good campaign when you got a great record to run on.”

Since the beginning of the pandemic, at least 1 in 3 Florida residents have been infected by Covid, a total of 7,172,457 reported cases. At least 1 in 260 residents have died from the coronavirus, a total of 82,541 deaths. In his goal to achieve herd immunity, the man left buffet restaurants open for the duration.

While he said they are still counting the votes, DeSantis said it is “apparent that this election, we will have garnered a significant number of votes from people who may not have voted for me four years ago.”

DeSantis so happy he successfully tossed a coin in the air at a local high school football game on Friday, just days after Hurricane Ian ravaged the area.

NO REPUBLICAN WINNERS ARE CLAIMING THE ELECTION WAS RIGGED.

“I just want to let you know I am honored to have earned your trust and your support,” he said adding that Americans have been “voting with their feet.”

I am no naturalist, but lemmings do that, too. Sheep. Stampeded, frightened herds vote with their feet. Just saying.

“The results of that behavior has been just as stark as our landslide victory today; states and cities governed by leftist politicians have seen crime skyrocket. They’ve seen their taxpayers abused. They’ve seen medical authoritarianism imposed, and they’ve seen American principles discarded. The woke agenda has caused millions of Americans to leave these jurisdictions for greener pastures,” he said, adding that many Americans have viewed Florida as the “promised land.”

I live in Florida. I see the license plates of my new neighbors. America is not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them. And some, I assume, are good people.

It’s really more like that.

“We have embraced freedom. We have maintained law and order. We have protected the rights of parents. We have respected our taxpayers, and we reject woke ideology,” he said, adding that “Florida is on the right track.”

Another campaign ad highlighted his ability to levitate a writing instrument.

How weak do you have to be you can’t wear a damn mask? Millions of Americans fought and served for your right to wear a mask in the time of a deadly pandemic. Think about it.

“I believe the survival of the American experiment requires a revival of true American principles. Florida has proved that it can be done. We offer a ray of hope that better days still lie ahead,” the governor said, adding that he has “only begun to fight.”

“And I would not have been able to see the level of accomplishments that we saw unless I had outstanding personnel working in the Executive Office of the Governor as well as heading state agencies. These folks worked hard to implement our agenda, they believed in our agenda and the results have been historic. Thank you for your support,” he said, also thanking Miami-Dade and Palm Beach counties.

I like how he gave a shout-out to his team which will be enacting and enforcing his edicts the next four years. Very savvy. DeSantis knows, he alone can’t fix it. He needs enforcers.

You, yes, you, you in the tight-ass, low-cut dress, better not get pregnant.

You, yes, you, the other one in the glittery, even sleazier dress, better not have a penis under there and try to read ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ aloud in a school library.

Already, you basically can’t fart in Florida without the Governator’s permission. Just ask Mickey Mouse.

And God forbid – exactly! – you complain about what a shithole country he has turned the Sunshine State into.

Ending a sentence with a preposition is not yet against the law here. What you say is curtailed, not how you say it. Not yet.

Penultimate line: He should send me and the wife to Martha’s Vineyard.

The dogs, too, of course.

He will feed the homeless to the pythons in the Everglades. Or not.

But, please, be honest.

Are you not the tiniest bit interested in what goes down next?

Almost like living in history while it is happening.

Yeah, almost like that.

And so, I want to step aside for a moment, to thank all of you who have sent your sympathies.

But, stepping aside remember, sympathies are not enough.

No longer.

You got to get us out of here. You got to.

Before it’s too late.

The HOA is driving the same trucks as ISIS.

I am the only one in the neighborhood NOT flying the Stars & Stripes.

I will not sign a MAGA loyalty oath.

I will not.

Never.


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