Yet another gift catalog shows up in the mail. And the catalog is filled with a bunch of stuff you don’t need. Signs, t-shirts, pillows, magnets, placards. But many of them inscribed with wisdom you DO need.
Life’s journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting “Holy Shit… What A Ride!”
Not young. Not dead. Somewhere in between.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my life.
Nothing makes me as productive as the last minute.
The first 50 years of marriage are the hardest.
Life is good.
Running: cheaper than therapy.
Poop happens… Just pick it up and move on.
I have OCD & ADD. So everything has to be perfect. But not for very long.
Prayer: the world’s greatest wireless connection.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
I’m having one of those days when my middle finger is answering every question.
You can’t fix stupid.
It came to me that every time I lose a dog, they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older… this crap is not what I expected.
Politicians & diapers need to be changed often… for the same reason.
Ever feel like you are one dumbass away from completely losing it?
In this house, we are real. We make mistakes, we say, I’m sorry. We give second chances, we have fun, we give hugs, we forgive, we are patient. We love.
Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Enjoy the simple life. Happiness is homemade.