Sponsored by Sonny’s Real Pit Bar-B-Que. “Put On Your Armor Against Drugs.”
Some guy in a dime-store cowboy outfit is using kids and 9-banded armadillos and anti-drug propaganda to sell ribs.
Principal method of motivating the animal involves blowing vigorously on its butt.
The winning armadillo covered 20 feet in 9.92 seconds.
Name two (2) drugs you should stay away from, one child was instructed.
Without prompting, the answer comes back, loud and clear: “Beer and cigarettes.”
On The Way Back Home
An elderly couple approaches the entrance to a store. The doors slide open automatically. The old man says nostalgically, “I remember the days when you had to open the doors by yourself.”
Florida was a paradise once. That’s why people started moving here.
Like to see the beauty before all paved over.
Thomas Edison once offered to install electricity in Fort Meyers. The town fathers declined the offer, fearing it would keep their cattle awake at night.
I picked up a copy of FLORIDA SINGLES magazine.
There’s a photo of an attractive blonde. What I’d call your Reese Witherspoon-type. “Debbie Dehaven is a teacher with a unique idea. She teaches safe sex with walnuts. Each nut has a condom inside. She says, ‘teaching safe sex is a hard nut to crack.’ ”
In 1992, Florida’s schools will greet another 90,000 students. Many don’t speak English. In Miami, there are places one becomes mucho grateful for those four years of high school Spanish.
Once pulled into town, hot, tired, a NASCAR race nearby Homestead, finally find a vacancy, Rosalita, the desk clerk says sounds like How are you? and I reply, stiff and achey.
So she says, “Well, Senor Stiffenachy, do you have a reservation?”
Blow me, I thought.
