Golf & Hollywood Celebrities

It’s easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister’s fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification. ~Bruce McCall

An excellent source of freelance income at one point were golf tournament programs.  Deep pockets and “it’s all for charity.”  Paid good.  

I have played golf thrice in my life, and hit three good shots.  A one-iron straight down the middle, a wedge to within inches of the hole, a putt that curved about four times before plopping into the cup. – JDW

THE NEW HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES [actual title. – ed. note]

Every year, part of the excitement of the PayLess Celebrity Golf Classic is wondering who’s going to show up at the first tee. There’s always something magical about seeing some big time television star with a three wood.

Especially when he unleashes a duck hook onto the next fairway. Just like anybody else.

Now appearing in alphabetical order…

Scott Thompson Baker is best known to fans of ABC’s “All My Children” as Craig Lawson, a man who tends to be in the right place at the right time.

Baker is just the man for the role. In 1985, a talent scout entered Scott, then playing musical theater, in the nationally syndicated “Star Search.” Performing in the acting category, Scott wrote a comedy monologue based on years of auditions as a struggling thespian. Victorious in his initial competition, Scott went on to fifteen consecutive wins.

The grand prize check for $100,000, a pretty fair pay day for a high handicapper, was made out to “Scott Thompson Baker.” The search for a star was complete.

Five years a co-star of the recently canceled “Jake And The Fat Man,” Alan Campbell was neither the Fat Man nor Jake. “First time in years, I’m among the gainfully unemployed,” says Campbell. A former co-star on “Three’s A Crowd,” he wasn’t Suzanne Summers, either.  Campbell, a better singer than actor, is currently wowing crowds with his scintillating cabaret appearances.

As a golfer, Campbell is a superb tennis player.  Alan was shooting a 23 handicap, before he had a disc removed last year. “The PayLess Classic is my chance,” Campbell punned, “to get back into the swing of things.”

For Campbell, golf is, first of all, an excuse to have a good time. “There’s so much pressure in Hollywood, I don’t need to stress myself out about golf. If somebody wants to concentrate, they probably shouldn’t play with me,” Alan warns with a laugh. “I like to have fun too much.”

What’s fun about golf? “It’s a great way to get to know people,” replies Campbell. “The game is an emotional roller-coaster.  Love.  Hate.  Frustration.  Bliss.  Golfers play all the most challenging roles.”

Gregory Harrison, known to most for his seven seasons as the brash Dr. Gonzo Gates on “Trapper John, M.D.,” has appeared in some 40 TV movies, a half dozen feature films and three mini-series. Lesser known is his behind-the- camera efforts; he has produced over 20 television movies.

Once called “the most courageous actor working in Los Angeles,” by the L.A. Herald Tribune, Gregory’s company, Catalina Production Group, has won over two hundred awards for an incredible variety of outstanding theatrical presentations.

“I’m a better actor than golfer,” says Harrison who answers to a 20 handicap.

Gregory sometimes plays four or five times a week, then he’ll go months without picking up a club.

A surfer for over three decades, Harrison has a home on the Southern Oregon coast where his family spends about half their time.  Eventually, Harrison, a third-generation native of Catalina Island, plans to make Oregon his permanent residence.

“It’s a good place to come home to.”

John O’Hurley has a face you’ll recognize before you can place the name. He’s a ten-year veteran of daytime television, heart-throbbing his way across one daytime soap opera after another. “The Young & The Restless,” “All My Children,” “Santa Barbara”, “Loving,” and “The Edge Of Night,” that’s a lot of cliff hanging for one man.

O’Hurley’s feature film credits include Mirror Images, Night Eyes II, and Billy The Kid.

Michael O’Leary, not so bad looking himself is a two-time Emmy nominee as Best Supporting Actor for his stellar performances on “Guiding Light.” O’Leary has a recurring role on “Doogie Howser, M.D.,” and he’s just completed a trilogy of film shorts, It’s A Small World, for HBO.

O’Leary is in for a special treat. “Oregon and Washington are the two states I’ve never been to before,” Michael exclaims. “This is going to be a new adventure for me.”

O’Leary, an admitted sports junkie, began playing golf four or five years ago. “Knocked down my score from like a 98 to low 80’s,” says the actor. “Which is, I guess, average.” He loves the game, although he rarely plays more than once a month. Even television celebrities have trouble getting a tee time on a public course in Los Angeles County.

“For me, golf is an escape,” says O’Leary. ‘Sometimes this business is a grind, then you get on a golf course, no buildings, nothing. To see nothing is very relaxing for me. I have yet to get to the point of taking the game seriously. Sure, it bugs me if I do a bad shot, but golf is a real stress relaxer. Go out with some buddies and just hit the ball around, that’s a lot of fun for me.”

Here come the judge. Another celebrity you’ll certainly recognize is veteran character actor Stack Pierce. With nothing more than the wry arch of an eyebrow, Pierce seems stern, wise, fair. Maybe he’s not the omniscient judge in black robes on every made-for-television movie, but it sure seems that way.

Bring a pen for autographs.

And, pay attention when someone hollers, “Fore!”

[source material below.]

The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes. ~Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf

MICHAEL O’LEARY

JDW: And then, just to make it more interesting, I have an O’Hurly and an O’Leary.  “Doogie Hauser.”  I have your 20th Century Tiffany Management sag after heat bio. So I guess, basically I need to know is 1) what you want to see in a paragraph or two about yourself in a golf magazine. Or talk about your golf game. Or anything.

MO: I think you could start off by mentioning some of the night credits. In a synopsis. The best supporting actor nomination, 1990. …..

JDW: That’s already so good. I just got second place in a local poetry contest and I’m thinking, gee, if I had won, how good would I feel?

MO: Exactly.

JDW: A Nomination is pretty nice. What are you currently doing?

MO: I’ve got a recurring role on Doogie Hauser. I’m doing a play in Los Angeles, an original play at the Tiffany Theatre and it’s called Scars. … It’s going to be opening on…..

JDW: Who is the author of Scars?

MO: It’s an actress. It’s her own piece. It’s been work-shopped for a little while …… ….. she was an actress on “As The World Turns.” Excuse me, “Another World” for several years.

JDW: Coincidentally someone just sent me a book called that they wanted me to review.

MO: book called Scars?

JDW: There’s a book called Scars. About Viet Nam war veterans.

MO: This is the same name, different story.

JDW: Are you much of a golfer?

MO: I started playing golf out of these events, really. I started about four or five years ago. Knocked down from like a 98 to low 80s. Which is, I guess, average.

JDW: Is it? How often do you play?

MO: About once a month.

JDW: One a month! I think already that’s going to drive people crazy. Low 80s, once a month.  Are you a talented athlete?

MO: I’m a sports junkie. I played basketball in college and high-school. Baseball and football. I played all three sports. Never great. Not good enough. Basketball is my best sport, I would say. Baseball, football, I was good at but basketball was my best sport. Athletics are a good part of my life. I love golf. I just love every sport except for hockey.

JDW: Which looks so cold. What do you like about golf?

MO: For me, it’s just an escape. When I was in New York working on the show, The Guiding Light. It was just one of those things where you’re here in Manhattan. It’s a grind and you get on a golf course with no buildings and nothing. To see nothing was very relaxing. For me. I have yet to get to the point of taking the game seriously. It bugs me if I do a bad shot, so I mean, to me, golf is a real stress relaxer. Go out with some buddies and just hit the ball around is a lot of fun for me.

JDW: You like it a lot, you only play once a month?

MO: I only play once a month because it’s an interesting thing. California does not, Los Angeles does not have that many golf courses, strangely enough. When you get outside of Los Angeles County, have a lot. But the public courses out here are crowded and there’s usually a long line. Just to get a reservation, you have to get up Monday morning and call the reservation line and hit redial and just sit there on the phone for an hour to get a reservation.

JDW: Kind of reminds you what a normal guy you are, huh?

MO: Exactly. No special privileges. When I go out to North Carolina, that’s where my wife is from, and her family is out there. You can go out there, you don’t have to wait and the golf courses are beautiful, and that where I love going out to play. Is out in North Carolina. Because there’s just no wait.

JDW: The way it’s supposed to be.

MO: Yeah. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

JDW: In Oregon, they play in the pouring rain.

MO: Oh yeah. They do in Minnesota. I’m from Minnesota originally.

JDW: Oh really? I spent a week there this year. Where did I spend it? Lake Ann. About an hour north of Minneapolis.

MO: Were you there in the dead of winter?

JDW: No, dead of summer.

MO: Wasn’t it beautiful?

JDW: Yeah. It was amazing. A lot of Scandaneuvians. Anything else? You’ve never played here before?

MO: You know what? Oregon is the only state in the country. Oregon and Washington are the two states I’ve never been in before. So this is going to be a new adventure for me. I’ve never been to Portland. Never in Eugene. I haven’t been in any of those states out there and I’ve always wanted to go to the Northwest.

JDW: Oh, it’s great. I live out in the coast range. The kind of place where people stop you and ask if you’ve seen any elk so they can go shoot them. And drive by shooting here is a poaching term. It’s pretty nice.

MO: Well, my dearest friends was a paramedic in um, what’s the name of the town? It’s south, southeast of Portland and it’s a medium sized city.

JDW: Southeast? Salem? Bend?

MO: No.

JDW: Gresham, Lake Oswego?

MO: No.

JDW: That’s it. I named every big town in the state.

MO: Eugene?

JDW: Eugene? That’s in the middle.

MO: It might be Eugene.

JDW: That’s a wonderful town.

MO: Yeah. He’s a paramedic up there. Loved Oregon. Just raves about it.

JDW: Eugene is like they dropped a summer camp in the middle of a park. Between the college and the river that runs through town.

MO: It’s a college town?

JDW: The University of Oregon.

MO: Oh, okay.

JDW: They still have hippies.

MO: Do they?

JDW: Yeah. They still have hippies. They still have fairs. Ken Kesey pulls out his bus every once in a while. I will let you enjoy your Friday night.

MO: Okay.

JDW: I think I have enough. I appreciate your call. And shoot some good golf someday.

MO: Who else is coming up, Jack?

JDW: Gregory Harrison, Stack Pierce, Michael O’Leary, Allen Campbell, Mike Ditka, a kind of a scary thing for me. Scott Thompson Baker, Richard Karn. That’s it on my list.

MO: Did you talk to Ditka already?

JDW: No. I haven’t.  https://www.jackdogwelch.com/?p=8786

MO: Have you talked with Gregory Harrison?

JDW: No. I haven’t.

MO: Have you gotten in touch with anybody yet?

JDW: Julianne Phillips is not going to be here.

MO: Leave it to the women to drop out.

JDW: Well, that’s too bad. There’s only a couple and on my list, I have them both scratched out.

MO: Well good luck.

JDW: Well thank you.

MO: Have a nice weekend.

JDW: Thank you, Mike.

MO: Bye.

March 20, 1993

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around. ~Rick Reilly