Archive For March 21, 2018
Talking to my old girlfriend, I got confused. She said, I have high hopes. And I said back to her, said back to her front damn, girl, look at them, I just want to do a full Al Franken on those melons. I am both, high and hopeful. If I had only been lucky. I…
From January 17, 1990. Barker Ajax wanted to meet at McDonald’s, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’m on a low-polystyrene diet. That’s how we came to be at Cafe Fresco on Northwest Thurman at 24th. “There’s a sign on the counter: “Our paper products were once tall trees. Please use sparingly. Thanx.”…
Couple things. Give me cash and a deadline and I’ll write any truth. I have many handicaps but expertise is not one of them. From June 14, 1989 – JDW How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.― Benjamin Disraeli The Rose City premiere of the Neil Simon play Broadway Bound has…
I am sitting here, blowing the smoke of killer flowers pretty paisley petals, drinking strong beer bubbling backyard brew, transposing a column from days forgotten, listening to Neil Young sing “Old Man” into my headsets while my young wife prepares chicken parmigiana and watches re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy. And I remember our earlier conversations about chameleons…
The old man didn’t know the answer. The young redhead asked, “honey, what does UMBC mean?” She’s the kind of woman who can’t tell you what happened in the game, but can recite the last thirty minutes of the news crawl at the bottom of the screen. He loved word games. Never…
No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. – Joseph Addison The Central Intelligence Agency has been sending teams of commandos to kill alleged terrorists overseas, despite an Obama-era effort to cease the use of “assassination squads” by the agency, according to a…
Tall bony, nice but tough. white guys who run fast, I just love them. Can’t say why. This is a story about the dad years ago. Nice shiny head. – JDW JOHN GREGOREK TRACKS ROAD WINS John Gregorek’s a big guy, one who often seems to be lurking at the back of the lead pack,…
Jessica Pierce wrote this piece originally for the New York Times. Think further out on a limb of a slippery slope.- JDW Why, people want to know, did Barbra Streisand decide to clone Samantha, her coton de tulear? What would compel someone to spend $50,000 or more to create a genetic replica of a pet dog? In the recent…
The “biggest” columnist in Oregon at the time was Jonathan Nicholas. I didn’t like his face or his voice or his writing. But I did understand I was also green with envy. Maybe more purple. Jonathan is almost single-handedly responsible for making Portland streets unsuitable for automobiles. “…In the halls of political power, bikes long were…
My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all. – Stephen Hawking He was a Master of The Universe. Stephen Hawking, the British physicist, has died at the age of seventy-six . He was often, perhaps rightly, compared to one Albert…