Archive For December 30, 2017

A Party Of Homosexual Necrophiliacs Walks Into The Bar

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A Party Of Homosexual Necrophiliacs Walks Into The Bar

The old man was home alone. Wife out of town. Got up before dawn. Fed the little dog. Fed the big dog. Vitamins.  Walk. Drive to town. Obey all speed limits. Haircut. Sushi-to-go. Home again. Dog at his feet. Documentary of one of his heroes. Put on a floppy beret and a large overcoat. Pour…

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Far Walker

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Far Walker

“Far Walker” is a bite from Larry Leonard’s classic tale of the same name.  Think about Larry, “iconoclast” is the first word comes to mind.  Ornery, too.  Portland didn’t just suddenly get weird on its own.    From Wild Dog #5: NO WHINING. (1993)  – JDW Not that it was all bad for him. Sometimes his naturally…

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Nightmare Deja Vu All Over Again (A Haiku)

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Nightmare Deja Vu All Over Again (A Haiku)

Clock says four-oh-five. Trump in a white Ford Bronco. Wake to the scream team.

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The Feds Should End Their Losing War On Weed

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The Feds Should End Their Losing War On Weed

by Martin Schwartz for The Hill 12/26/2017 The renewed battle over marijuana prohibition in the United States is a fight the federal government appears set to lose, much as it could not sustain the 13-year prohibition against alcohol. Cannabis has been legitimized for medical or recreational use in almost 30 states and the District of…

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Don’t Place Limits On Yourself

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Don’t Place Limits On Yourself

The number of ways you can live in one lifetime is limitless.  So why limit yourself?  The sky is NOT the limit.  Beyond the universe is. – Suzy Kassem But don’t jump off the roof. Trust me on this.    

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After The Work, The Rest is Easy

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After The Work, The Rest is Easy

From the award-winning (but I didn’t get invited to the banquet), critically-acclaimed (Billy Rodgers likes it) When Running Was Young And So Were We.  My best book to date. What follows is the first article with my byline ever published nationally. It appeared in the December, 1975, edition of Runner’s World.  Later reprinted in The…

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Christmas Memories

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Christmas Memories

No one survives those early Christmases except for me.  Except in my head and heart. I came to truly believe in A Superior Being when I received my first toy at Christmas. It was the answer to my prayers.I come from humble stock. Hell, our stock came from humble stock. December 25th was a break…

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Septuagenarianism Is Not For Sissies

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Septuagenarianism Is Not For Sissies

The old man got up when he always got up.   Went for his walk like he did every morning. After sweeping the lanai, filling the water bowl and picking up the dog shit in the backyard.  Routine. Whenever he thought about being old, he thought about being young. Whenever he thought about being young, he…

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Eat Dog, Yankee Traveler

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Eat Dog, Yankee Traveler

The venerable Rick Rubin was an inveterate traveler and a collector of vivid memories.  Here’s a piece which appeared in Wild Dog #5: NO WHINING. (1993) – JDW Recent mention of sex tours to the Far East brought to mind an even more exotic flesh much enjoyed by the natives of several lands on the…

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Gut Check

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Gut Check

Still cleaning computer.  Some more notes from my coaching days. – JDW My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.  –  Rodney Dangerfield. What you’ll find is Luck is far luckier than folks would have you believe.  Work hard, sure, but understand, you can wear yourself down to a…

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